christakatarina

I have no idea why my blog is going crazy when I'm trying to publish something from my phone. Anyway, mum has been here for the last three days and it has been great. We've been shopping, visited Buckingham Palace, Winter wonderland, and a lot of other places. Today she left, but no hard feelings since I'm leaving in a couple days.

 

Morning fellaws.

 

Before I start telling you about our anniversary I just have to say that everything that is done in London for Nelson Mandela is beautiful. First we went to the Nelson Mandela Statue and Trafalgar Square to see how amazing it looked with all the flowers,pictures and notes that people came to put there. Media was everywhere, taking pictures and interviewing people. I have so much respect for Mandela, and he really is an inspiration. A legend never dies.

 

With that said, I'm gonna tell you about our anniversary. We had such a nice day yesterday, why can't it be anniversary more than once a year? The weather was really cold but sunny, and we spent the day in central London. First we visited Winter Wonderland, and I really got this cosy christmas feeling that makes me want it to be christmas even more now. We thought about buying mulled wine, but ended up in a Mexican restaurant instead. The food was amazing and the staff were really nice. I'm lucky that both Ellis and I enjoy mexican food, it's probably our favourite.

 

The whole day was just so cosy and nice, and I had a special warm feeling all day. We got each other little presents and heart shaped candy. Ellis framed a picture of us that we can have in our room, and surprised me with flowers, I really am a lucky girl.

 

Tonight I'm starting my new job, and I'm really nervous. I thought I'd have somebody to walk next to during my first shifts, but now it only looks like there will be somebody that I can ask things, but I'll be working more or less on my own. It's a big christmas event with hundreds of people, and I'm so scared that I'm gonna mess up. I guess it's normal to be nervous though. I'm happy I have three days of work now, so I really learn how to do everything.

 

Today I have been with my love for exactly a year <3 I was living in Spain at that time, and we were on the metro on our way home from the Gaudi park. I can't remember exactly what I said, but we were talking about the distance between our countries when I asked something like: 'but what are we then?', and he answered: 'Well... I see you as my girlfriend'. My heart melted and that's when I understood that we were in a relationship. Pretty cheesy isn't it? But I like it cheesy, it's cute. Having a long distance was one of the hardest things I've ever been through, but now we are here. I'm so proud of us, and I love us. <3 We decided to celebrate tomorrow because we're both busy today, but at least we had a nice breakfast together this morning watching julkalendern.

 

At least we have both agreed that we want to move. Today we took some pictures of this place and posted on gumtree, now we just have to hope that somebody wants to take our contract.Ellis is worried that nobody's gonna want it, and I'm worried about how we can find a new place that we can afford. Living in London is really expensive! And it's even more expensive when you want your own place. I think sharing can work if you're on your own, but as a couple we really want our own place.

 

It's exactly two weeks until I go home. I'm really hoping that I don't have to do any uni work on my christmas break, because I'm both exhausted and stressed. I planned to start working on some new stuff that we got this week today, but after cleaning, sending emails and cooking, I don't have so much time anymore. These two last weeks are going to be super busy! I was just talking to my manager and I'm gonna work my first shifts these weekend, and then my mum comes on Wednesday. And then all the assignments... and Zumba of course!

 

Tonight: Teach Zumba in Bromley
Tomorrow: Anniversary celebration <3
Saturday: Study on the day, work 17.30-23.30
Sunday: Work 17.30-23.30
Monday: School until 15.00. Work 18.30-23.30
Tuesday: Uni until 15.00. Clean and get ready for Wednesday.
Wednesday: Mama's coming!

 

Another sleepless night. If there is something I know about myself, that something would be that I need sleep to function like a normal person. Without it, I can't think, I get sick, and my body doesn't respond to anything. I kind of have decided that I need to move out from this place, but I don't know when, how and where yet. All I know is that it just doesn't work.

 

If I have to try to be positive, I can think that I wrote my final assignment for this week a couple of hours ago. I started at 3 a.m and finished at 5, which means I don't need to study tonight. Today it's 16 days until I go home. Even though it's sad that my boy and I won't be together at christmas, I'm really longing for home.

Anyway, I went for my interview today. First they asked us some questions, then we did a practical assesment (opening bottles, pouring champagne, setting and clearing tables), and then we finished of with a written test. I guess I did pretty okay, because they emailed me and said that my interview was successful only a couple of hours after :) hopefully I can start working soon! 

I'm also a victim of a flu. I've felt horrible all day, and I think I'll be even worse tomorrow. I can't even study, and I have so much to do... 

I'm struggling so much with Uni work right now.I have been working so hard on everything lately, really tried to do my best, but I just end up with bad results anyway. My biggest problem is the language I think. I mean, I don't have any problems understanding at classes or anything, but when we have to do our assignments I misunderstand what we are supposed to do sometimes, and when I'm Writing my work there are always some details that I miss to write because I didn't understand them in my research. I knew it was going to hard, English was one of my weakest subjects in school, but I didn't know it would be this hard. I got some good grades, but when I get these bad ones it's like a slap in the face. So much time, so much efford, but it's just not good enough.

 

I know complaining won't help at all, I just have to do it better next time. But what happens if it stays like that? I feel so disappointed of myself, which makes me lose motivation and writing the next one becomes harder. It's like I'm scared of writing anything at all, because I keep thinking that it's probably gonna be wrong. A couple of weeks ago I started to think about doing a degree, which means I'd have to study for two more years after this diploma. How am I gonna manage that if what I do just isn't enough?

 

Right now I'm just trying not to think too much. In Three weeks we'll have our christmas break, and a week before that my mama is coming. And before that Ellis and I have our anniversary! Which means, that's next week. December 5th is our day, but since I just started working last week I can't take a day off already, so we just decided that we're gonna celebrate it on Friday 6th instead. Friday is always better than Thursday.

 

Speaking of Fridays. This Friday I have a job interview! Like I wrote a couple of days ago, I applied for a waitress job, and they phoned me today. First they asked some questions over the phone, and then invited me to a three hour interview(!) on Friday. She sent me an email with the dresscode, so I had to go shopping today, haha. We have to wear formal black trousers, and a long sleeved white shirt. I have never been to a job interview this serious, haha. I probably haven't even worn a shirt.... Well, we'll se how that goes.

 

 

Okay, so I finally started to work last Wednesday. It is only one zumba class/week, but it's better than nothing. I haven't really applied for other jobs to be honest, not until now. First I thought that I would try to find Zumba jobs only, but I haven't really found anything. People only need me to cover. Anyway, yesterday I started to apply for other jobs as well. Waitress, translator, guide... I really need something.

 

Hmm I don't think I have anything else to say. I've felt really tired these last days, so I haven't studied as much as I should have. Tomorrow is a new day, sleepy girl checking out.

I really have started to like London more lately. I've got some great friends in Uni now that we all start to know each other, and most subjects are interesting so it feels good going to school. The problem has been stress, as usual. I knew we were going to have a lot to do here, but the structure has been crazy and sometimes we have four assignments that need to be handed in the same week.

 

Yesterday I passed away in public, on a parking lot. It was the most embarrasing thing I've ever been through, and I'm trying to figure out if stress can be the only reason for something like this to happen. I was so lucky that three strangers helped me, and I was just sitting in front of them, crying in panic. They gave me water, calmed me down and then drove me all the way home. I feel so lucky, and words can't describe how thankful I am.

 

Last night was a struggle. I think I hurt my back when I fell, so I couldn't undress or put the sheets in bed properly (Ellis wasn't home so he couldn't help me). Today I feel better but still in a lot of pain, and I haven't slept much. I decided to stay home from school, and this (of course) stresses me as well.

 

I'm already lost when it comes to accounting, and now I'll get even more lost. But I guess there's nothing I can do about it right now... Thank God Ellis took the first train home from his friend this morning, soon he's here. <3

 

 

I've been really busy with Uni work lately. We get two assignments every week, and we also have a lot of reading to do. Our first two essays has to be submitted next week, so I've been working on those almost every day. 

I have also been to a job interview and a Zumba audition. Both these places seems to be good gyms, and I already know that I passed my audition and they put me on the cover list. And also, I have that other Zumba job starting in November. Only a couple of weeks left. 

I'm on my way to Uni, and later today Ellis and I are flying to Sweden! I have never been excited about going back to Sweden before, but this time I'm really excited. I just can't wait to see my parents and friends. We already have every day planned, and I just feel so happy about going home. 

On Saturday Ellis and I went to Bicycle Film Festival. We watched two films, BMX and Urban Bikes. I couldn't even imagine that films like that could be interesting, but they really were. 

Also, we have booked tickets to Sweden! Wednesday night to Sunday morning in a couple of weeks! :) It's gonna be great to see my family and friends again. 

I almost started University yesterday. I mean, I went there for registration. I was there maybe for an hour, and I met my first (and so far, my only) friend. A Chinese guy, the only person who was there at the same time as I was. We tried to talk a little, but because of different accents it was hard to understand each other. Tomorrow I have my induction day, and then the real deal starts on Monday.

 

These last days I've also: tried English ginger bread men (don't do it, it's nothing like real pepparkakor), tried Dancehall at pineapple, bought a membership in the dance studio, and been shopping with Ellis. I bought a Winter coat, some dance clothes, and just some basic stuff. This is probably the only time I'm buying clothes this year, unless I get rich while studying.

 

We spent our Sunday morning in Greenwich Park. It smelt like a fresh autumn morning and I can't wait for the leaves to turn yellow and red. The weather changes so much right now. One day is really cold, and the next day you can go out wearing only a t-shirt. 

 

Today we're doing our weekly food shopping, and tomorrow I'm going to the dance studio. My second class is going to be dancehall, very interesting! I also need to prepare for university, I'm starting on Wednesday.

 

I must admit that it is hard when you move to a new country. You're trying to replace everything you had at home with something new, but it just doesn't work like that. Some days I really love being here, and then somedays I miss home (or everything I had at home) so much. I'm either really happy or really sad, there isn't anything between those two. It feels like I'm just trying to get down on earth, but I keep failing all the time. 

 

The last few days I've been sad. Ellis started Uni, he has some friends already, which makes me more lonely. I mean, I'm really really happy for him (of course I am!), but since I don't know anyone yet I feel lonely. I miss being able to call a friend and go for a walk, fika or just sit and watch Top Model and Housewives of O.C. On the other hand I'm starting on Wednesday, and I'm sure things will get easier when I have something to do, something that will keep me busy. 

 

Yesterday was an amazing day. I was home alone so I decided to go to Pineapple Dance Studios. I haven't been dancing since... I can't even remember! I was belly dancing not too long ago, but I haven't done any other styles for years. Anyway... I went to this jazz class, chose the level 'general' and thought it couldn't be too hard. I thought wrong. First of all, I don't have any muscles anywhere! We were supposed to lift our legs and do jumps and turns and I was a mess... Also, everyone at my class were dressed up in real dance suits and I just had my running clothes, so I couldn't even pretend that I knew what I was doing, haha.

 

The class was an hour, and the teacher didn't talk at all. The music was on all the time, no explination about anything... it was hard! At the same time I had tears in my eyes, not because I was sad, but because I've missed dancing so much. And I was disappointed at myself for not doing it earlier. Dance is one of those things that always makes me feels good. It has always been like that, and probably always will. I'm looking at the timetable all the time, trying to plan what classes to go to, thinking that I am brave enough to go, changing my mind and thinking that I'm not, and then looking at other classes. Over and over again. 

 

Today I woke up with pain everywhere. I went for a run(!) in the morning so that I could stretch and hopefully be in less pain. Since I came to England I've been exercising a lot more. Ellis loves bikes and bike rides, so we go out a lot with our bikes. We also walk every day, sometimes for hours. Now I'm preparing Zumba and hopefully teaching soon, and if I'm also starting to dance again I will definitely have enough exercise.

 

 

The last couple of weeks I've been feeling a little tired. I'm somewhere close to have a cold, but it doesn't really break out. I started to take vitamins, garlic and Omega3 a couple of weeks ago, and I hope that will save me from getting sick.   

I have paid my course now, and I'm starting next week. It's gonna be nice to finally do something again, meet some people and use my brain, haha. 

The weather is nice, mostly sunny and the days can be pretty hot. Yesterday I was wearing only a t-shirt, but I think it's gonna get colder soon.