Who cares on a Wednesday

I woke up with a headache this morning and I was hoping for it to go away, but it seems like it's only getting worse. I just took some paracetamol, and now I have to get ready and leave for work. I'm so happy I've got two days off after this.

Yes please!

Yes, it should be illegal to drink in front of your kids.

Best Song Ever

I'm so happy that I had this morning to just start doing everything that I have to do before I move. I found some songs that could work for a Zumba program, and I'm gonna keep looking tomorrow. I also started to rewrite my personal statement for England. I really want to get a job in a gym/health center as a Zumba Instructor or Dance Teacher, and I would also like to do some reception work. Since I started working at Coop I see loads on CV:s and personal statements all the time, and I really got a lot of inspiration. I just want it to look really good as well, but I think Ellis can help me with the design.
Have I told you guys that Ellis is going to start Learning Swedish btw? We ordered some books for him last week, and then we're gonna have Swedish classes at home. I probably don't want to live in England forever, so we thought it could be good to start practicing if he's gonna move here some day. :) It's also good for me to try teaching, since I've been thinking about teachig languages!

Man Down

The last couple of days at work have been really stressful. We've had so much costumers all the time, and it feels like we haven't been enough people working. Yesterday I barely had time to breathe during my shift, but at least those five hours went fast. Today is my last work day, and then I have two days off. I was supposed to have the rest of the week, but I took an extra shift on Saturday. Weekends are good. 
When I finally went to bed last night I couldn't sleep because there was a crazy man screaming on my street. He was talking to somebody who was far away, said that he's gonna kill him and stuff. My neighbours asked him to shut up and go home, but he just kept screaming. So finally I called the police. And I wasn't the first one. Finally they came and took him with them. I'm happy I didn't have to wake up early.
Tomorrow it's August already! Which means: 29 days until moving. I feel sick but excited, I guess that's the way  it's supposed to be. Today I'm gonna start working on my Zumba program. It would be nice to have it done when I leave, because then I can start looking for jobs right away.
Btw, how cute isn't this?


I spent my morning by the kitchen table, looking at photos and putting them in albums. Going through them all, I just realised what a wonderful life I have. There's so much love, and I really couldn't ask for more. It's gonna be nice to look at all the photos when I'm older.



Isn't it funny how many followers you get on instagram after making your account private?

New week

I slept from 21.00 to 07.30, and it was amazing. I woke up a few times at five and six, but I fell back to sleep. Today I feel good, and I'm ready to work my nine hour shift. The weather is pretty bad today. It's really hot but it's raining... And rain is the perfect work weather.

Today it's three weeks until he's here again.

Low Fat

I have to answer a question, and since I don't know how to put the picture up here when I'm on my phone, you get the answer first:

How do you know what I eat haha? But yeah it is true. I don't like low fat products because you have to add a lot of other things, if you want the fat to go away. And those things are way more unhealthy! Also, fat isn't always dangerous. It depends on what kind of fat it is, how much and so on. It's the same with sugar. The things light products have will kill you faster. That sounded dramatic.

Work and a long walk

I regret saying that I felt like a human being this morning, because when I started to work some kind of zombie mood came and took over that human feeling. I think I had my slowest five hours ever at work today. And I was a little behind all the time.

Anyway, I managed to cook a meal for Sara anyway. I tried a new chicken, and it wasn't bad but it wasn't amazing either. I don't know what I think about creme fraiche... But it was okay. Sara and I also went on a long walk, and we kind of changed our mind when we were half way. Both really tired. But we had to go back anyway...

I booked washing for tomorrow at 7 a.m, but I was sneaky and went today instead. The ones who had booked it today already finished washing, they just had their stuff in the drying room so I decided to go. Now I don't have to wake up early tomorrow! Hiiiyyaaahhh.


After having breakfast I actually felt like a human being even though it was early. Tomorrow morning I have washing, but the thought of sleeping until 07.00 makes me feel good. That's three hours more than this weekend. And I'm sure I'll fall asleep early tonight.

Last night in bed I was thinking about everything I have to do before I'm going to London. And it's a lot. Since I'm working so much these last weeks I should really write down everything and make some deadlines. Otherwise I'll be so stressed the last week, and I don't want more stress than I'll already have.

In six hours I'm on the train on my way home. Haleluljah!

Feeling a little like...


Tonight is gonna be another early night. Tomorrow is my second and last early morning, and then next week I'm working days and evenings until Saturday when I start at 07.00. But that's also my last early morning at work, if I don't take any extra morning shifts. I shouldn't complain too much about mornings though. I have a job! And mornings are more chill than the evenings that I usually work. I guess I Always complain that they're too stressful. And when I'm working days, like on Monday, the days are too long. I guess we always have something that isn't right.
A great thing about working mornings is that you have the day to do other things. When I finish at 11.00 tomorrow I'm gonna go home and make lunch/dinner for Sara. I'm gonna try a new chicken dish, we'll see hos that goes. We are also gonna watch a movie and just spend time with each other. We don't have so much time nowdays.

Finally a little rain

Saturday in Stockholm

I can't say that I enjoyed waking up at 4, but at least I finished work early! Mathias and I spent the day walking around in Stockholm. He bought new jeans and a lovely iphone case!



Early Mornings

It's eight o'clock and I'm in bed already. I'm gonna work five days now, and the two first ones are early morning shifts. I have to leave home at 5 a.m so my alarm is gonna be at 4 a.m...



I've been waiting for an e-mail from my Uni in London for weeks, but they are so slow. I'm starting to think that maybe they forgot about me... And this (of course) makes me nervous. Then I started to think about all other stuff about London that makes me nervous, and now I'm just feeling weird and nervous. I'm sure it's gonna be fine when I'm finally there, but it's scary to read about people who get home sick and so on... I'm gonna miss my mum like crazy. And my little Sara.
I also realised that I don't have much time in Sweden anymore. It's a month and three days until I'm leaving. It might sound like a lot of time, but I'll be working most of the time, I'm going to Finland for a couple of days, and Ellis is staying here for the last ten days. I need the Uni to reply so I can fix Everything with CSN, my bank, all the papers I need, a new zumba program so I can start looking for jobs when I'm there... Ouff, I'm so nervous.
In 24 days we'll finally win over this long distance relationship after nine months.
I can't believe we actually did it!


Saying Goodbye

More or less sleepless night. We had an alarm on 04.30, took the train to Stockholm at 05.43 and said goodbye an hour later. I'm on the train on my way home now, feeling so sad. This is the part that I really hate of a long distance relationship.


Mum went to Finland today.
Ellis is leaving tomorrow.
I'm gonna feel so lonely.


Stendörrens naturreservat



We are on a mini holiday in Helsinki. Nice weather, nice hotel, nice company. Life's good :)


I'm at the airport, waiting for my boy to land. It's only three minutes left, and I'm so excited! :) Feeling a little like this cat:



On Tuesday Ellis and I are going to Finland, so I thought I'd check the weather... Please please don't rain on Wednesday. But if it does, at least Thursday is better.


In 24 timmar I'm (almost) waking up, getting ready, and going to the airport to pick him up. The reason why I'm awake this early is because I'm so excited. In 27 hours we'll finally be together again. We were talking on the phone last night, both so excited. I really can't wait.


Time really is one weird thing. Time usually goes fast and slowly at the same time. I met Ellis on October 31 last year in Spain. We've been struggling so much with this long distance relationship, and the waiting between every time we've seen each other has been the longest time ever. At the same time it's almost over. On august 19th we won't have a long distance relationship. That's when our 'normal' relationships starts. He's coming to Sweden that date, and then we go to England together on the 29th.

A few weeks ago I wrote that we finally got an apartment, but we don't anymore. Things didn't really go as planned, but we have booked a room in a student hall. We have our own bedroom and bathroom, and then we're sharing kitchen with some other people. This is absolutely not what we planned, and I'm nervous about it already. But hopefully everything goes well, thanks God for our own bathroom.

The weather is so good. I'm always working on the hottest days, but I had some time outside earlier today. I'm working 15.50-21.00 both today and tomorrow, and then on Monday morning Ellis arrives. This weekend will go fast!

Vad gör en pensionär?


Finally Friday. It probably sounds weird when I'm saying that since I'm working both Saturday and Sunday, but a busy weekend will make Monday come quicker. I really like working weekends anyway, or at least weekend nights. I get so much better paid those days.

This sunny Friday I spent with my bestie Sara. We went for a couple of walks, had ice cream, made dinner and went to the library. I can't describe how much I love that girl, she really is perfect for me.


I have taken some time off from here these last days. There is so much other things going on right now, that I haven't had any energy. I'm working on working things out, and I'm waiting for my boy to come here on Monday.


Four days left.

Jul. 10, 2013

It's crazy how fast life changes.


Sometimes it's so nice to spend a little time at a friend's place. I've been in so much pain all night that I really couldn't sleep, but at least I wasn't alone. And I'm probably the only one who's happy for this massive rain, no reason to do anything.

Sleep over

I really have the best friends who are always there for me. I'm so lucky.


It's finally a real summer in Sweden. The weekend was hot, Monday a little cold, and now it's hot again. My whiteness and I went out for a two hour walk in the morning, and we also spent some time on the balcony. Now I'm on the train on my way to Tugce. We're going to a mall, and then we're gonna have a sleep over at her house.

One Direction

Right There

I really enjoy days when I get to spend time with my best friend. I've been in England a lot lately and she just started a new job so we haven't had much time. Today we spent the day in Stockholm, walking around in the city and talking about everything and nothing.

Jul. 07, 2013

Signing Out

I never thought I'd say this, but thank God it's Monday tomorrow!
Since yesterday went fast at work, today had to be really slow! Of course. It was the hottest day of the year so far in Sweden, everyone else were on the beach or at a picnic, and right before they went there they came to shop at Coop. We had so much costumers all day, and I thought I'd collapse because of the heat so many times. I'm glad that I'm working with the best people, they really make me happy.
I'm also happy that I told a girl at work how beautiful she is. I've always liked the way she looks, but I thought she keeps hearing that all the time so I just didn't say anything until today. And I'm happy I finally did, because she almost started to cry. She said thank you probably 100 times, and I could just see how touched she felt. She really deserved to hear it.
Hmm, I don't think I have anything more to say.


I was so tired yesterday when I came home from work. I probably fell asleep around midnight, and woke up ten minutes before my alarm, around eight. My nine hour shift yesterday went pretty fast. I had lunch after only two hours, ans then it was six hours left to work. And six hours is like a normal shift! But I was lucky, I had some really nice people to work with, and Dalya who just quit came to say goodbye.

When I started this job I got to know some girls who I had a lot of fun with, and now they all quit... And I'm next! I have told my boss that I want to have my last shift on a Wednesday night, 21st August. It's the night before Wu-tang and 8 days before I move to England. It feels good to have a week to get ready and pack.

My boyfriend is coming to Sweden next week, and when he leaves I'm gonna work a lot extra the last weeks. Usually I'm so sad when he leaves, so it feels good to know that I'll be busy. Also, I really need the money! I want to dance in London so I need money for courses, and I'm also trying to save money for rent. It would feel so good to not use my loan for the first couple of months.

Well, work time again!

Saturday Morning

Saturday morning. I'm working 11.00-20.00 both today and tomorrow. The weather has been pretty bad all week, but as soon as I've got work it gets hot and sunny. This is just my luck! I wonder if I'm gonna be white as snow all summer... I hope the sun stays, next week I don't have much work!

This is my 5th day with a headache and belly pain. Even though I was really tired yesterday I kept waking up so many times during the night, which means I'm even more tired today than I was the other days. Tired + 9 hours work, we'll see how this goes. At least it keeps me busy so I don't have to think about the pain.


Express Yourself

I really have to keep busy to not fall asleep. I'm so tired that I couldn't wake up to my alarm this morning, and I was a little late to the doctor. He asked me loads of questions and then decided to take blood tests for seven different things. Now I just have to wait and see, he said he's gonna call on Monday morning. I also went to lunch with my dad, and we had thai food.
I'm gonna try to stay up for a couple of hours more, and then go to bed early tonight. I have a long weekend at work so I really hope I get to sleep well. I haven't slept enough this week, but now I feel really tired so I'm gonna try tonight.




Tack så mycket för de fina orden, kul att du gillar min blogg :) Nej, jag är faktiskt Finsk! Båda mina föräldrar är Finska men jag är född och uppvuxen i Sverige. Och ja Ellis är Engelsk. Han må vara mörkhårig men han är nästan blekare än jag!

I Miss You

I miss you and I miss us.

After tonight it's been 4 days since I left, feels like forever. 10 more to go.

You really are amazing.

I love you.

Blood Tests and Food

I'm lying in bed and trying to sleep. Tomorrow I have to wake up pretty early because I have an appointment at the hospital 09.00. I'm just gonna do some blood tests and then I'll probably have to wait for the results for weeks. It feels good to go though, there is always something wrong with me and I really want to know what it is. After, I'm going to lunch with my dad.

By the way, I bought an old friends smartphone today. I'm gonna give it to my mum so that we can talk on whatsapp and stuff when I live in London. I'm also gonna make her an instagram account so she can see my pictures there. It will probably take her a couple of months before she learns how to use it though, haha.

Mami and I also planned two days with stuff to do for when Ellis is here. One of the things is to go to Taxinge Slott, probably the best castle in the world because of their amazing fika! Haha we really enjoy eating. I'm also so excited about going to Finland with Ellis, have dinner on the boat and stuff. Yeah I love food.


Next year at this time I will almost be finished with University in London. My English will (hopefully) be really good, and I will (hopefully) have a job there. I promised myself to start studying Spanish as well, so I have to take care of that. I'm so excited about moving now, and today I booked our tickets. Ellis is coming here around 20th August, and then we're going together the 29th. It was easier like this because he can help me with my bags, he will be here to support me when I'm nervous (because I will be), and it will be easier to leave when he is here with me.
I feel so emotional. I'm gonna miss my mama and Sara like crazy. I spoke to both of them today about it, and I'm so scared that mum is gonna be sad all the time when I move out. I just want her to be happy, and I know that we can see each other whenever we want. It's close and easy to travel between Sweden and England.
Loads of people are telling me how stupid that I am for moving, since everything in sweden is soooo good. I'm also stupid for studying abroad since we've got free universities in Sweden. Then there's people who believe that Ellis and I are gonna break up after a month, and that we shouldn't live together. To all of you who can't support me/us and be happy for me/us, seriously: fuck you. It hurts that you're supposed to be my friends. Most people are really happy for us though, and I appreciate that. It feels good to have your support.
Now I just need to work as much as I can this summer. I talked to my boss yesterday and got some extra shifts at the end of the month which is perfecto. Exactly what I needed! She also said that there will be more extra shifts in August so I have to try to get some of those.
Photos from March last year when Sara and I went to London for a weekend

Jason Derulo


I'm finally back with my best friend again! We had a walk and work out day, and talked about everything that we've missed being away from each other.


Zzz, I really need to sort out my sleep. I fell asleep sooo late yesterday, woke up early and then went to bed again at ten. My belly hurts and I have a bad headache. Tomorrow morning I'm gonna speak to a doctor and try to get an appointment for this week. I need to do blood tests.

Anyway, I'm on my way to work. I really need money since I only worked a couple of days in June, so no time to stay home sick!


No Sleep

I've Heard that you're supposed to get up if you haven't fallen asleep after 30 minutes in bed. I don't know why I always stay for hours even when I can't sleep. I went to bed at ten and now, three hours later I'm starting to give up.

True Story

Waiting for sunshine

It's crazy how quickly everything changes. From feeling so good and having everything under control, to just be at the bottom again. There's so many different parts in having a long distance relationship, and the worst thing is to say goodbye and to be back at home again. It's not like we can't wait or don't think that these two weeks will go fast. It's just that the body doesn't feel good. I had really bad nightmares, we both woke up with a headache, and we've felt so low and stressed today. And we probably will for a couple of days.
Anyway, there is also some really good things about coming home too. I met my friend Felicia today which was nice. We watched a movie and talked about life, like we always do. On Thursday I'm going to see Sara, I really can't wait. The sad thing (probably the only sad thing) about moving to another country is going to be that I can't see my friends and my family like I do here. I can't even imagine how it's going to be when we have to say goodbye. I don't really want to think about it yet,
I felt sorry for myself :)

Jul. 02, 2013

Trust no bitch


And now everyone knows...

Travelling Man

There's so many bad things about travelling. If you travel by bus, you usually end up sitting next to someone who smells really bad. The same thing can happen on a plane, but it's more common to sit next to a love couple who makes you realise how lonely you are. Or two teenage girls who are travelling for the first time, which means that they are loud because they're so excited.

Another bad thing is the food. I can't count how many times I've told myself to not buy a bad tasting airport sandwich again. What did I buy today? A bad tasting airport sandwich of course! I was hungry and there's not much you can choose from. I also ended up with a muffin and refresha from Starbucks. I always wondered why people from Sweden are so excited about going to Starbucks when they are in another country. Espresso House is so much better.

There's also so many good things about travelling. I love it, so it's worth the smelly people and bad food.


I don't want to leave.

Last day

I love you. Today was good.

I'm gonna miss you.

So much.

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