Get up
It starts to get dark pretty early, the air smells like fall and I actually think it's a little cold. People are complaining that summer is over, but I seriously have nothing to complain about. The thing I love about Sweden is that we have four seasons, and I think I can say that I like them all. Also, this time is what I've been waiting for since the start of this year.
It's crazy how it went both fast and slowly at the same time. It fels like I just started University (January) and Coop (March), but it feels like it's forever since i left England (June). Time really makes me nervous sometimes, but everything makes me nervous nowdays. Or at least everything about London. It's not only that it's a new country, it's a new university with new people, a 'new' language, a new way of living, a new kind of relationship. If only one thing could stay as it is. I guess that thing just has to be me.
It's not like I start to change my mind or that I'm scared that I'm gonna want to go home. It's just that I want everything to go well. I'm scared that I'm gonna do bad in school because I don't know the language good enough. I'm scared that I won't meet people in school that I actually like and who likes me. I'm scared of our way of living, that's what scares me the most. I just feel that I want my privacy. I want to be able to walk around how I want, do what I want, and don't have to deal with other people when I don't want to. We'll see how that goes.
Another thing that I'm scared of is getting sick. You guys who actually know me, know that I get sick often. And when it happens I also get really bad. I was week for four weeks in Spain last year, I honestly thought I was gonna die. And that's when you wish you lived on your own so other people don't get annoyed when you're coughing and staying up all night. I even went home to Sweden for a week last year when I was really bad. This year I've only been really sick once (ta i trä eller vad det heter!) and I hope it stays like this. Maybe my immune system got better? I guess I'll find out soon anyway, my mum is having a relative over who just got really sick.
I go from being really excited to being really anxious in only a few seconds. I decided to not think about England too much these last weeks. Of course I have to get prepared and pack, but I'm trying not to think about all these things that worries me. I don't want to plan anything but doing great at university and get a job that I like. I just have to leave everything else until later.
When I'm there I'm gonna have to be so proud of myself. I have to remember that.
