Lost In My Own World

I must admit that it is hard when you move to a new country. You're trying to replace everything you had at home with something new, but it just doesn't work like that. Some days I really love being here, and then somedays I miss home (or everything I had at home) so much. I'm either really happy or really sad, there isn't anything between those two. It feels like I'm just trying to get down on earth, but I keep failing all the time. 
 
The last few days I've been sad. Ellis started Uni, he has some friends already, which makes me more lonely. I mean, I'm really really happy for him (of course I am!), but since I don't know anyone yet I feel lonely. I miss being able to call a friend and go for a walk, fika or just sit and watch Top Model and Housewives of O.C. On the other hand I'm starting on Wednesday, and I'm sure things will get easier when I have something to do, something that will keep me busy. 
 
Yesterday was an amazing day. I was home alone so I decided to go to Pineapple Dance Studios. I haven't been dancing since... I can't even remember! I was belly dancing not too long ago, but I haven't done any other styles for years. Anyway... I went to this jazz class, chose the level 'general' and thought it couldn't be too hard. I thought wrong. First of all, I don't have any muscles anywhere! We were supposed to lift our legs and do jumps and turns and I was a mess... Also, everyone at my class were dressed up in real dance suits and I just had my running clothes, so I couldn't even pretend that I knew what I was doing, haha.
 
The class was an hour, and the teacher didn't talk at all. The music was on all the time, no explination about anything... it was hard! At the same time I had tears in my eyes, not because I was sad, but because I've missed dancing so much. And I was disappointed at myself for not doing it earlier. Dance is one of those things that always makes me feels good. It has always been like that, and probably always will. I'm looking at the timetable all the time, trying to plan what classes to go to, thinking that I am brave enough to go, changing my mind and thinking that I'm not, and then looking at other classes. Over and over again. 
 
Today I woke up with pain everywhere. I went for a run(!) in the morning so that I could stretch and hopefully be in less pain. Since I came to England I've been exercising a lot more. Ellis loves bikes and bike rides, so we go out a lot with our bikes. We also walk every day, sometimes for hours. Now I'm preparing Zumba and hopefully teaching soon, and if I'm also starting to dance again I will definitely have enough exercise.
 
 

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